Today, we take a look at the 2001 DreamWorks Animation film, Shrek. The massive success of this film not only led to multiple sequels and spin-offs, but also made DreamWorks Animation a worthy competitor to Disney and Pixar.

For those of you who don’t know, Shrek is a sort of fairy tale parody (in particular, a Disney fairy tales films parody) loosely based on a William Steig book of the same name. In it, an ogre named Shrek, voiced by Mike Myers, is hated and feared by the local villagers because…he’s an ogre. One day, when a bunch of fairy tale characters invades his swamp due to orders by the sly, power-hungry Lord Farquaad, voiced by John Lithgow, Shrek demands that he get his swamp back.

I wonder how you can actually build atop a swamp?

Lord Farquaad makes a deal with Shrek and says that he can have his swamp back if he goes and rescues the princess Fiona, voiced by Cameron Diaz, so that Lord Farquaad can marry her. So, it’s up to Shrek and his newly-found self-designated friend, Donkey, voiced by Eddie Murphy, to go on this quest.

Donkey, like us, is often confused about why ogres are like onions.

As you can expect, Shrek successfully manages to rescue Princess Fiona and slowly, they start to fall in love with each other. Now, my forgotten/minor characters appear during one of these scenes where we see them bonding whilst a song is playing in the background. To impress Princess Fiona, Shrek grabs a frog, blows it up and ties a string on it to form a “balloon”. Much to his surprise, Princess Fiona does the same with a snake. They laugh and enjoy the moment until they let the animals go floating into the air.

“Hey, whatever it takes to keep us amused, right?”

Now, I’m like, “But…what about those poor animals?!”. Basically Shrek and Princess Fiona grabbed two animals without their consent, blew air into them, manipulated their bodies, and then sent them floating to their eventual deaths! Surely, this is some form of animal abuse!

“Uhh…a little help here….anyone?”

The frog and snake probably had families of their own and were out looking for food for their families or something. Now I can understand if Shrek and Princess Fiona wanted to eat the animals to satisfy their hunger, but to just “play with them” and then send them into the sky…that’s just barbaric! The animals are no longer able to move or get themselves out of their tangled knots, so a few things can happen.

One, they can fly too close to the sun where they’ll eventually pop or die from being unable to breathe. Two, another animal in the air can eat them. Three, they could miraculously get untangled, but then plummet to their eventual deaths to the ground below!

“There’s no way we’re getting out of this alive, huh?”

Basically, there’s no way they can escape death and now the members of the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Frogs and Snakes has wanted posters out for those marauding murderers, Shrek and Princess Fiona! Let’s pay our respect to our frog and snake balloons…take off your hats please!

WANTED: One green ogre and one royal princess gone rogue. Last seen torturing animals in the forest for own amusement. If spotted, please call SPCFS and one of our marksmen will follow your tip. Thank you!